firstup, a merry xmas to all of you! my christmas was awesome, spent with the most awesome girlfriends, and also, some much needed girl time!

i cant believe its almost the end of 2011, it was like just ystd it was the start of it!

2011 has been an absolutely trying year for me, facedwith all the up and mainly downs, but im glad that somehow, i always had the strength to pull thru, despite all the nonsense and trials. thanks to those who always made me smile, made me laugh. i than

k God for my awesome colleagues, one who became my older brother, another my older sister. and also, for an awesome and understanding boss, who is like a second father to me.

and. somehow if you are reading this(though the chances are really unlikely), i just want to tell you, im done caring. i cannot keep doing this, hearing broken promises, feeling worn down, always wondering when you're going to spring a nasty surprise on me. i don't like the feeing of being lied to, i don't like the feeling of wondering whether can i trust you, and what you're doing. I feel like im suffocating myself. when i promise, i don't intend to break it. i'm pushing down all my feelings of sadness, mistrust all away, so i don't feel anything at all eventually. maybe, this is for you. i don't know how much longer we'd last, but i honestly don't know about our future, whether we'd be in each other's.

2012.